Andy Livingston

I’ve recorded this song with every album I’ve done. I had always thought he was supposed to be played with a band. We must have scratch tracks of this still somewhere (and one version where we got so far as to record the percussion). It wasn’t meant to be though, and he wanted to wait for the orchestra, so he finally gets his day. This must have come along in … I think it was 2007? I remember writing lyrics in the basement of the humanities building (was it the JFSB?) in my college days. I don’t think I could have understood how prescient I was, as I didn’t yet have any serious relationship experience to speak of. I had been disappointed and heartbroken, though. Strangely, I don’t think I understood at the time that it was heartbreak what I was feeling. I was the one who wasn’t ready. He would have chosen to be with me, but I couldn’t. I regret a lot of those failed relationships now, because I hurt people who invested time in me. Now I’m on the other end of that and I realize how selfish and foolish I was. How could I expect your decision to be any different when I see a mirror every time I look at you? Even still…it’s easier when there’s a villain. Then no one minds – some even cheer – when the daggers come out. But who do you root for when there is no nefarious madman? I wanted violence. I wanted to be justified in hating you and wanting to hurt you like you hurt me, but…I understand. I’ve held that dagger myself, before.