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  1. Fine

From the recording Chiaroscuro

It was hard to admit that he was still on my mind. Even a couple of years later, I was so sad to learn that he had a boyfriend, and I knew that he wasn’t coming back. I never wanted to write a song about him. I didn’t think he deserved a song, but, if I’m being honest, he was the one I was thinking of when this song started to show up. During some of the darker days of this (romantically speaking) mess of a year, I would be out and about and people (mainly servers, retailers, etc.) would ask how I was doing. “I’m doing fine.” I would say, and, as is socially acceptable, smile politely. In my head, though, I would sardonically wonder, “What do you care? If you really want to know…” They didn’t want to know, and most people don’t. There is a line that got cut from the song: “But there’s nothing to see here; no one but me, dear. Everything is fine. I’m fine.” I think one of the most difficult things about truly getting to fine is that you have to be the one to close the casket. You know, this isn’t your typical funeral. You have to decide when the body is buried, even though you try to convince yourself that you can get used to the smell. So, here’s to dust and ephemera…

Lyrics

Going down. Enjoy the show.
I meant to tell you, for what it’s worth.
I think the sound was last to go
 
All in all, it was not
your typical funeral
have it your way
 
I admit this place is kind of messy
but I think I could be here for a while
so what use is trying to move forward anyway when you’re still on my mind
everything is fine
 
How about breakfast? I’ll make some eggs
The forecast calls for storms today
I know you hate it when it rains
 
Order up, Gloria
bullet proof my umbrella
have it your way
 
I admit this place is kind of messy
but I think I could be here for a while
so what use is trying to move forward anyway when you’re still on my mind
and you’re still on my mind
everything is fine
 
going down did you enjoy the show
I meant to tell you