From the recording Water
Initially, it was a song to apologize to my children who would never be born. I was still being told by some people, “You can get married, you can do it!” as if they were cheering me on in some 5K. More like a marathon, where every year would be another uphill mile. I’m sure they meant well. The same people telling me all this were the same friends who were getting married themselves, and subsequently fading away from my stage. People kept slipping through my hands, and I was trying everything I could to stop time, but touching your index fingers together was apparently only a television trick. There was this guy also. He was dating someone (of course) and every time I looked at her, I couldn’t help but think, “You lucky little tramp.” It was around this time that I began to close myself off emotionally from people. What’s the use, I thought, if every time I allow someone in, I’m just left empty in the end?
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do but pull the plug when you can see the flat line. “At least he went out peacefully.” I don’t know that gives me much comfort anymore.
Lyrics
Sorry to disappoint yousorry for trying too hardthere’s just too much between myugliness and my beautiful why can’t we stayhe went out peacefully so they say I found a metal ladderunder the garden walland I couldn’t help but hear youwhispering about sacrifice so maybe I’ll try escapingmaybe I’m masochisticmaybe your could-be love willkill me or cure meeither way I came too latecould it be there has been some mistakewhy can’t we stayhe went out peacefully, so they say I’ve got the notion thatsome lucky girl will breathe in his ecstasy the air in here it’s atmosphereI’ll write you letters from the other side of the veil if I’m not there to tuck you insorry to disappoint you