Fell Into Pieces

04:42
Andy Livingston
2012
Andy Livingston

Story

No one ever wants to hear, “Sir, the test was positive.” Trying to put myself in a place of empathy for a friend who discovered he had contracted HIV, I couldn’t think of anything except for crashing, and falling into pieces. I am also always fascinated by those brief moments that change everything without our even knowing it until later. If you could just capture that hour and erase it from the record books…the branches our pathways take as we go along always leave me wondering, “If only…”

There are so many terrible things we do to one another. Lying about one’s status is one of them. I’ve talked about this before in “Strangers Who Double as Lovers” but that was a little more detached and observational than this. This is trying to climb inside someone whose life has been forever changed by three letters. It’s one of those things that, sadly, has begun to be used to define people and create an Other of sorts.

 “Them.” “He is Positive.” I prefer “he is a person” to “he is positive.”

There is no “they” only “we.” And we are all in this together.

Lyrics

hot date on a saturday,
go home
if you’ve had enough
I could have sounded the siren
I fell into pieces and then
I fell for the latest trick
go home “6, 7” and you pick up sticks
I can play the victim so well but
I fell into pieces and then
 
did you hear that? 
you could have had all this and more
what does it mean if the red light comes on
and I fell into pieces again
 
hot date in a pickup truck,
don’t shoot 
this is not a gun
she tried hard to deny it
she fell into pieces and then
he fell when her baby kicked
stand back while he gets it fixed
he should have pulled out before she vibrated
They fell into pieces and then
 
What are the odds that
debris from the fall out
would make an impression?
Everybody needs a secret
that will keep them warm.
That’s all.
 
hot date on a saturday,
go home
if you’ve had enough
just be sure to pack some signs to show the way.
 
But did you hear that? Did you hear that…
Did you hear him the way that he said,
“Good night, my friend.”
It’s almost as if he understood the Law of Pity.
What are the odds that
debris from the fall out
would make an impression?
Everybody needs a secret
that will keep them warm.
That’s all.

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